Have Me For Dinner

An experimental writing piece consisting solely of dialogue. Enjoy!


Have Me For Dinner


-Happy Thanksgiving!
-Welcome, come in, so glad you could join us.
-I guess that makes everyone.
-Smells delicious.
-It’s quite a spread.
-Sure is.
-Looks like you’ve outdone yourselves again.
-I wouldn’t have believed it could be done.
-Oh, stop.
-No really, there’s something for everyone here.
-And then some.
-Let’s gather around, please.
-Everyone!
-Stop it you two!
-We’re going to say grace.
-Would you do the honors?
-Certainly. We are gathered here as friends and family to share in one another’s thanksgiving for the great things that God has provided us with, for our friends and families our health and the feast prepared by loving hands. May God’s grace comfort those less fortunate. Amen.
-Amen.
-Dig in!
-There’s turkey, venison, that there is a rabbit stew.
-Rabbit?
-Ewww….
-Hush.
-There’s plenty of potatoes, scalloped, mashed, semi-mashed and baked.
-We brought a salad.
-Dressings are in the fridge.
-There’s also a roast just about done from the bull we slaughtered this fall.
-What is this dish?
-That?
-Yeah, it smells great.
-You know, I’m not too sure what that is.
-Let me try a piece.
-Not that. That’s tongue.
-Cow tongue?
-No, it’s a little sweeter than cow. The first time I had it, it was glazed with wine, and to be honest it kind of took me by surprise. I got used to it eventually though, then I just lost the taste for it. You’re welcome to try it. I’ve had enough. It’s a little old though. It’s probably too tough. I think you should just leave it be.
-What’s that you have?
-This?
-It looks pretty good.
-It’s heart. It’s kind of gamy.
-Heart?
-Of a deer?
-Something like that.
-I’ve never seen a heart prepared like that before.
-It’s not an easy procedure.
-How was it done.
-To be honest, it takes years to get it just so.
-Years?
-Yep. You need to soften it up for a while first, at least a few months, any less and you may not get full saturation. You’ll know it’s ready when it feels like putty in your hands. Anyhow, that’s when the real care begins. You need to first spend a few weeks molding it into something manageable.
-I bet that’s time consuming.
-Among other things. Anyway, after you’ve shaped it into the desired mold you need to tenderize it a little.
-Tenderize?
-Yeah, you know, beat it up a little. You want it to maintain freshness.
-I see, otherwise it might get stale.
-It should be bleeding a little by the time you’re done. That’s how you know it’s ready.
-Ready for what?
-The next step.
-Which is?
-You need to play with it.
-Play with it?
-Play with it…
-Yep. Play with it.
-No, no, you’re never supposed to play with your food.
-That’s true, but it isn’t food yet - it’s still in preparation.
-Oh, I see.
-I guess that makes sense.
-This can be a very tedious process. Some hearts take years of toying around before you can stop.
-How will you know you can stop?
-That’s the easy part. They start to blow up. Like a balloon. And you want to stop just shy of bursting it.
-Oh.
-Now some hearts take longer than others. This one took five years to go through all of the required stages.
-There’s more?
-Oh, sure. Once the heart balloons it’s almost ready to be harvested. You have to make sure everything else is in order at this time because there’s little to no shelf life once it’s picked before it goes bad. So now you have to handle it very gently because it’s almost ready to pop on it’s own and it has to be done all at once. If it’s properly prepared up to now you should be able to stab it with a sharp knife without popping it.
-How is that?
-That’s the pre-saturation.
-Exactly. The knife goes in and you begin the delicate task of carving it up. Where you go from here is really up to your imagination.
-How was this one done?
-This was a gem. It soaked up so much that it was like a one of those thick gushing sponges. I cut this one once all the way through, but because I was preparing it for an occasion I wanted to do something different. So once I took both halves, I hollowed one out, and stuffed it with the other half and ground the innards of the first to sprinkle over the whole as a sort of garnish.
-You mean the half.
-That’s clever, I didn’t even notice that. Yes, I guess I do. Anyhow, I ground the one half by hand, just by turning it over and over and bit by bit it flaked away, and then added a lot of seasoning to it in order to try and draw out and complement all the natural flavorings.
-It’s truly divine.
-I’m so glad you like it. For my part, I prefer that dish there.
-Oh and what is this?
-You’ll have to trust me on this one, because I know you wouldn’t touch it if I told you.
-It must be something exotic.
-It’s definitely an import.
-I love the sauce.
-It’s really more of a glaze.
-Now what’s the difference?
-A glaze is baked on.
-I see. So what’s the secret?
-I guess I can tell you that I left the skin on.
-Is that why it looks so tanned?
-Precisely not!
-Oh! You got me.
-It’s very lean.
-Oh yes, this dish is. And sun dried to some degree.
-No kidding? I usually don’t go for sun dried.
-Nor I, but this was just too perfect to pass up.
-I agree. Oh, no wait, I got a hair.
-Oh my, how embarrassing!
-Now don’t fret. I see no sense in making a scene. It happens to the best of us.
-I was sure I got them all.
-These little ones are hard to spot.
-Now what about these little kabobs?
-To be honest, they are probably the fattiest finger foods you could find.
-Mmmmm. Magnificent. Here, hon. Try this.
-Wow, these are good. They’re so…
-Yes, what’s the word?
-Soft.
-Exactly! How’d you do that?
-Easy enough, I just left them alone. I let them ripen on the vine so to speak.
-Well it worked.
-Not really.
-What was that?
-Nothing, nothing. I’m glad you enjoy them, I never cared much for them myself, but they’re good with kids.
-Are they beer battered?
-The alcohol cooks out.
-You’ll have to get the recipe.
-I’m working on it love. By the way, where’s that young man who used to come around so often, what was his name?
-I’m sure I don’t know who you mean.
-Sure you do, tall fellow, quite handsome, you two were the best of friends.
-It’s not ringing a bell, but have you met my fiancé?